


Chilli in the Lion

by breadstickcat



Category: Voltron: Lion Force (1984)
Genre: Gen, not intended to be shippy but could definitely be interpreted as Pandor, pls enjoy this absolute crack fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25279057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadstickcat/pseuds/breadstickcat
Summary: Bandor makes Pidge’s job 10x harder with nothing but chilli.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Chilli in the Lion

“I knew it was a trap!” Lance shouted, his tone sounding quite triumphant for someone who was running from laser fire.

Sinius, a wealthy planet previously thought of as un-allied with the Drule, had requested peace talks with Voltron “and all her allies”, hence why Romelle and Bandor were with them, along with a Garrison representative. However, fate didn’t seem to be on their side during that lunch, neither were the rounds inside the guns of the Royal guards.

“You can gloat later Lance,” Keith yelled, attempting to be heard over the roar of engines and lasers, “right now we need to get to the lions! Romelle you’re with Allura, Bandor with Pidge!”

Pidge didn’t need to look back to know that Bandor was right behind him, though it was a little odd considering he always tried to get to the lion first. Thinking nothing of it, Pidge felt relief wash over him as the lions got close into his view.

The team split and ran to their lions. Pidge leapt into green’s mouth and jammed the key into the control panel, not taking off until he heard Bandor close the hatch behind him. 

“What was that about?! I thought they wanted peace?”

“All they wanted was a chance to-“ Pidge was cut off by a sudden slurping sound. Whipping around in his seat, his eyes widened at the sight before him.

Bandor had a shit-eating grin on his face, holding a spoon and an enormous bowl of what could only be described as some sort of chilli-gumbo monstrosity.

“Bandor what the absolute FUCK”

“It was just so delicious! I couldn’t leave it sitting on the table, that would’ve been wasteful!”

“Are you fucking stupid?! Bandor we are about to fly into a combat zone what makes you think a big ass bowl of whatever the hell that is was a good idea?! It’s gonna get everywhere!” 

Bandor’s grin only got wider. “No it won’t! Just you watch me! I’m gonna eat all of this before the battle is over and your lion will be completely spotless!” Bandor looked at Pidge with mischievous eyes. “Maybe if you don’t want this to spill you should just pilot better.”

Pidge narrowed his eyes. A challenge had been issued and Pidge was not one to back down from anything. A sudden rumble had his attention back on the battle. The brunette snapped his fingers and pointed at the back wall of the cockpit. “Sit your ass down, and you better hope that doesn’t spill otherwise I’m going to boil your teeth.”

Bandor giggled and sat down, crossing his legs with the bowl in between. He watched as Pidge gently lifted off and met with the rest of the team.

Hunk’s voice came over the comms, “What took so long Little buddy?”

Pidge decided not to cue them in on him and Bandor’s game. “Just making sure all my systems are onli-“ sluuuuuuurp

Pidge shot a glare at Bandor.

Keith sounded concerned, “What was that Pidge? I think your comms are cutting out on us.”

“Oh, that was nothing. Let’s kick Lotor’s butt!”

The team readied themselves, waiting for Lotor to make a move. They watched in anticipation as Lotor’s flagship descended from orbit, suddenly opening a barrage of missiles.

Pidge dodged a missile that was a little too close for comfort, and heard a harsh sloshing noise followed by a loud “SHIT!”

Pidge hissed, “Bandor!”

“Pidge are you sure you’re okay in there? Is Bandor harassing you?” Romelle’s voice piped up over the comms.

“No! Everything’s fi-“ sluuurp “we’re just getting some-“ sluurp “- interference!”

Pidge could practically hear Lance raise an eyebrow. “You two had better not be making out in there.”

Keith’s quick “Lance!” Was lost amongst the yelling and protesting from Pidge’s comms, laughing from Hunk and Lance’s, and an offended gasp from Allura’s line.

The current conversation was cut off when more missiles whizzed by the lions and a robeast emerged from Lotor’s command ship. This one could only be described as ‘Yoda on heroin meets an ugly ripoff Voltron design’.

“Alright team! I think we need the big guy for this!” Keith announced.

Pidge cringed as he realised that would mean more sharp angles and sloshing soup. He muted his comm and turned to Bandor, “Keep your ‘Stupid Bitch Soup’ in that bowl or I will liquify your organs.” 

The ginger pouted. “Fine.”

Forming Voltron wasn’t as bad as actually fighting the robeast, during a lion head attack Pidge could hear the horrid sloshing and frantic slurping, but couldn’t bring himself to look upon the mess.

“Form blazing sword!”

The command echoed throughout Pidge’s mind as he nervously fidgeted around the controls. Red lion had suffered enough damage to warrant green to handle the sword instead. 

Pidge raised green lion to strike the monster and sighed as he heard a yelp and more chilli spilling. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

The down strike of the sword was so vigorous it slammed Pidge into the console and Bandor hurling towards the front of the cockpit. 

Pidge heard the hideous slap of something wet hitting the view screen and console, and felt something warm oozing down his arms. He opened his eyes to find the chilli covering every square inch of the view screen, console, and floor. He locked eyes with Bandor, who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Moron”

“Bitch”

Pidge lunged at Bandor.

———————————————————————————————

Joyous shouting could be heard from the comms, however as the feeling of victory faded away a much different kind of shouting could be heard.

Keith frowned as he heard angry shouting and screaming coming from green lion’s comms, which eventually gave way to what sounded like a horrid mix of laughing and sobbing.

Keith quickly disassembled Voltron and instructed the rest of the team to help him investigate whatever the hell was going on in green.

Allura’s voice was tinged with worry, “I hope they’re alright!”

Keith tried to console her. “I’m sure whatever we find in there, they’ll be just fine.”

Lance’s voice interrupted their moment, “Keith, would you classify this as ‘just fine’”?

And that is the story of how everyone found Pidge and Bandor crying and laughing while making chilli angels in green lion’s cockpit.


End file.
